“No, I’m Not Pregnant, I’m Just Not Drinking Tonight”
and other ways to convince your friends, neighbors, and complete strangers to mind their damn business. You’re a childless, married lady in her early thirties and you’ve decided not to drink tonight. Maybe it’s a lifestyle choice, a personal decision, or you’re just nursing a hangover from the night before and need a night off the sauce.
Katie is a Rhode Island based writer. Her dog has anxiety and her cat has herpes. Her husband hides snacks on high shelves so she can’t reach them. She has published in The Millions, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, The Belladonna Comedy, and Slackjaw.
